Timnath Serah (and what comes before)

To cry. To wake up in the middle of the night and not know what just happened. To sleep. And then to know. Before the last thing came the first, and before the first comes Science to it's end. We know. You know. They all know but don't really care. The first is in the morning and the last was the night before and the entire middle is a big lump of jelly. Beginnings... Do you know?

I am here, at a beginning. It's interesting, you know, that this beginning is also an end. This is the end of being before now; now when I begin. I've contemplated blogging for the past several months, not being sure if I should do or not do. Why blog? It's a bit of a question. The part of it that gets me is how much of the desire to blog is subliminal exhibitionism and if not that, then what? I've arrived at a firm conclusion. I do not know. Through the course of the past several years of my life, I've realized sometimes not knowing is for the best. And so to the question... my answer is this. Ya just don't have to understand everything.

The Journey. My life and all that happens in between is what occupies most of my time. Somehow or other, no matter how I ignore it, it sneaks it's way in there and makes me take note. One of the great things about looking at life as a journey is the underlying assumption that your journey has a destination. The destination as such that I think of now is, I know, merely a stopover, and the path has in a way been clearly laid out, but there is so much traffic; so many routes available. So darn few signs. One does need to take note when they show up. Speaking of which...

A few weeks back I was contemplating a career direction for my life, among other things, and said, "God, what do you want me to do." "You're asking the wrong question," He told me, "You shouldn't ask, 'What do I want you to be, but rather 'Who do I want you to be. When you become who I want you to be, you will by nature do what I want you to do." And so I ask, "Who does God want me to be?"

posted by Lauren @ Sunday, April 04, 2004