Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility for Liberal Party in Canada
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION (SBP) - As if the scandal-plagued campaign was not enough for the federal Liberals, word has come out that Osama Bin Laden and his Al Qaeda operatives have claimed responsibility for the Canadian political party. The message was broadcast as part of Bin Laden's audio address that was released to the world this past thursday."Yes, infidels, we are responsible for the Liberal Party of Canada," said Bin Laden near the end of his translated message where he threatened further attacks on the United States, "Did you not see the signs?
"Fools, all of you."
In the audio address, Bin Laden pointed to the parallels between the terrorist organization and the Liberal Party.
"Al Qaeda has questionable resources of income; the Liberal Party of Canada shuffles money around like a satanic American playing three card monty. Al Qaeda hates christians; the Liberal Party of Canada passes laws to spite christianity. Al Qaeda has a sympathetic television network, Al Jazeera; the Liberal Party of Canada has it's own television network, namely the CBC.
"Really, infidels, was it that hard to figure out?"
The revelation was part of Al Qaeda's publicity campaign to show that they weren't just about terrorism through explosives and weaponry.
"Al Qaeda has been typecast as a bunch of cowardly fundamentalists who know only violence; they also say we only work in cells of 3. This is all incorrect." said Bin Laden, "The fact we can direct a political mob with no trace of good morals shows we can inflict far more damage on an entire country rather than just a small area of innocent civilians.
"You have phrase in Canada: we are no one trick pony. How you like me now?"
News of the claim by Al Qaeda sent shockwaves through the Canadian election campaign and the Liberal Party was quick to react and deny the accusation.
"We are not a product of the Al Qaeda operatives," said Liberal Leader and Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin, "Yes, we may look like it what with all the corruption, societal manipulation and backroom dealings but, I assure you, we are NOT associated with the Al Qaeda operatives."
Continued Martin: "As my first order of business as Prime Minister, after removing the 'Not Withstanding' clause from the constitution, I will personally see to it that there are no terrorists in my party.
"I assure you, lowly infidels, you have nothing more to fear with a Liberal Party in power."
Martin expects his refuting of the claim will win voters in Toronto when the election commences on January 23, 2006.
via Saskabush
posted by Lauren @ Monday, January 30, 2006
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